This isn't so much for me as it is for those that are busy implementing something very important right now (note: I replaced all the references to naked women with something a little less sexy):

A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous emu who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with professional emu and a Mai Tai in each hand." Poof! He's gone.

"You're next," the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."


*****

There were a bunch more grad student jokes but looking at them I found myself thinking, uh, none of these are really as funny as they are sad. So I'm sparing you. You're welcome.