i woke up agitated as hell today. like i could scrape the paint off the walls with my fingernails. it will pass. it will be gone in the morning. unless this is one of those hormonal things i love so much and then it will be gone in a few days. hopefully by the time sunshine gets back.

____________________

i'm reading mrs. dalloway by virginia woolf. i like the peopleness of her characters. they don't say much but they think like electric trains. run fast stop. run fast stop. "she had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out , far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day." i like that.

i'm also reading the neuropsychological basis of god beliefs. apparently god is located in the temporal lobe of the brain, somewhere between the amygdala and the hippocampus. i like that better than the parietal, which is where an article in the new scientist places the god experience. at least with the temporal lobe one gets a sense of anticipation and regret. seems like a good enough couch for a diety. i don't know. one thing i can say about all this brain stuff though -- squishy squishy.

it's just one less thing, really, to worry about. how many eggs are in a dozen and what will they taste like if cooked each of these seven specified ways. if i was a movie star i would only be filmed in black and white. that's the truth. there is no real drama with color.