honestly. i despise cars. this time two years ago the car i was in somehow managed to mow over three deer grazing on Hwy316. i thought, surely, in a smaller car, this would have been the end of me. i hardly drove again (excepting a few months over that summer) until last January, when I finally brought my little white snoopy car up to Providence with me, so that i might drive to the tar-zshay or to the miko or wherever it is people drive to. and for a while it was ok, since i only really drove anywhere every few days, and then rarely more than three or four miles. no big deal. then i moved. four 1/2 miles from campus and that was the beginning of the end. i started driving to school almost every day, and about once a week having a serious SUV related scare (they think they can just left turn any time they want cause they're big and metally), but still i drove on, like a fool.

and somewhere between moving and folly i got a mall job that required some motoring to and fro and snoopy car got stolen, soon after replaced by a newer, safer, more reliable model. the model that broke down on me at midnight last night. the model that apparently is having (what else?) transmission problems.

i hate cars. i hate them because they eat my money and make my life miserable. i hate them because parallel parking sucks. i hate them because they are loud and messy and give me environmental guilt. and sometimes tickets.

there is an upside though and it goes like this: last spring sunshine gave me a shiny red bike with brown handlebars and a red seat. it is seventy degrees today and the sky looks like my beloved. it did not break nor did it make loud noise. i felt no guilt and smiled through the downhills.

the year of the car is coming to an end. i feel it.