Word to the Wise: Sponge Bob is not a contraceptive.

So, incase you [the reader] are one of those that jives with the astro-logical, here's the Taurean profile:

Taurus
Are you the steady, lovable bovine chewing its cud out in the field [say what???], or a raging bull ready to gore the matador? Both of those possibilities can be attributed to the Taurus, a "bull-headed" sign because of its extremely strong sense of will and determination. Not the most intellectual sign [hey, thanks!], the bull nevertheless can be incredibly hard-working, affectionate and loyal. Taureans are creatures of comfort who like to wine and dine luxuriously [not me :-)], sometimes to the point of overindulgence. They also are attracted to the arts and occasionally excel in painting or singing. Taurus can be depended upon in the workplace and works well as a team player. He or she is pretty conventional sexually [really?], but has a healthy appetite [yup]. Because the bull's sign is the closest to the earth, acquiring things is high on Taureans' priority lists. The neck is a vulnerable area for Taurus [yeah it is], so take care of sore throats. Famous Taureans: Shakespeare, Freud, [the not intellectual shakespeare and freud] Fred Astaire and Barbara Streisand.

hmm... so, apparently that's me in a nutshell. i really hate it when they get it right. non capisco. non sono credere.