i can taste the employment. urban outfitters, here i come.

in keeping with davide's advice, i'll throw out another list:

top ten reasons to avoid employment:

1. obviously. you have to do work
2. your boss looks like the keyboard player from the bee gees. seriously, he does.
3. the soundtrack. any sountrack. p.s. it will include olivia newton john.
4. perchance do you have a microcosm?
5. the reid test. those that have worked at big retail companies know what I'm talking about. ex. Q: how likely are you to hit your boss in the face? a)very likely b) possibly likely c)does spitting count? d)only if he cheated on me with the intern.
6. your intelligence WILL be insulted.
7. your ass WILL be groped. it will probably be groped by the bee gees.
8. the work thing again.
9. if you don't have authority, you want it. if you have it, you don't really have it at all. say cheese.
10. the monkeys.

dude, the late show is totally missing out. i may just send D.L. my blog and make my foray into prime time. he will call me monte. i will call him the hulk.